Wednesday 29 February 2012

Day 5

My hair is really really greasy!! Really want to have a nice hot shower - just hope that this 12 day thing is bloody worth it. Not going anywhere today anyway, had friends who had planned to visit dropped their plans which was unavoidable but at least that it means I can get to have a bit of a rest....or so I thought!

Today was also the first time I wore my hearing aid after two days as it was too overly sensitive wearing them, but it seemed ok today and haven't got a headache surprisingly...

Carlee, my eldest had been complaining of headaches for over a week so my husband took her to the doctors about half past ten and was referred to hospital to see a proper doctor and I was left on my own with Hunter who proved to be a challenge - going upstairs all the time and me having to try and find him and keep him in one room so I can see him. I got two wash loads done which wasn't so bad....I think it helps if I am mobile, but not yet brave enough to venture outside..

Yesterday I kept smelling cigarette smells and again today, Lee thinks I am getting paranoid so I don't know whether if it is coming from the wadding that's inside my ear or it's all in my head!!??? I am finding that I am ultra sensitive to smells - unfortunately as when Hunter, my little one has a pooey nappy, it really gags me and Lee has the lovely job of changing him :-)

Overall, feeling loads better today and feeling positive, I may pay for it tomorrow - or not???

I fancy a pizza tonight - should I??

Day 4

My apologies for not posting yesterday, I woke up feeling good and positive but didn't sleep well at all throughout the night, kept tossing and turning trying to get into a comfortable position and when I did, I was on my right side and woke up thinking ouch!! Grrr, but Lee let me sleep until about 10am which was nice.

I have some bruising down the side of my neck from my ear, it looks yellow and yukky, little more feeling on my ear has regained, my tongue still feels numb!!



I had a cup of tea in bed the night before, upon drinking it, I had thought that Lee put sugar in it as it did taste sweet, had another cup of tea in the afternoon to confirm my suspicions - it did indeed taste sweet and I didn't put sugar in it!! Guess that the numbness and lack of taste cells on my tongue made it taste a bit weird - at least chocolate still tastes chocolate to me *bonus*!!

I had to have a nap in the afternoon as felt a bit giddy, guess that me not having a nap the day before caught up with me (naughty!) was woken up by Lee to say that my brother had come to visit - oops, I had forgotten I had arranged it so it was nice to see him and he gave me a get well card which was nice.

My balance is slightly improved, I try not to move too quick but can walk at a pace which I am pleased with.

Enjoyed my dinner this evening and could taste it all - compliments to Chef Lee :-))

Went to bed in pain again, mostly on the top part of my head which is a little swollen, the stress of not being able to do anything around the house is starting to get to me - damn tablets takes ages to work....

Monday 27 February 2012

Day 3

I knew this morning was going to be a challenge as the kids were going to school...Lee got up and got changed before me (surprise surprise!), woke me up and said that he has made sandwiches for Ramsey for play school and the others are nearly ready, just that Hunter hasn't had breakfast and Lewis is getting Ramsey changed and was going to drop Carlee off at school...by this point, I realised, I was going to be left on my own with the kids for a bit.

Tried getting out of bed and was greeted with dizziness so laid on my side for a bit before composing myself and stared at the one spot to regain consciousness, then got up, slowly walked down the stairs - which was definitely a challenge as it did feel like that I was going to fall down.

Lee had come back by then, kids were off to school and had about ten mins before taking Ramsey to school - I wanted my breakfast so tried to get it myself and almost lost my balance, as usual, I felt useless and got given a bowl of cheerios by Lee - bless his cotton socks.

My ear feels a bit better than yesterday, i feel more chatty, food tastes a bit better and have enjoyed my ham and cheese sandwich with lashings of mustard and definitely could taste the mustard!! Half of my tongue still feels and tastes metallicky, the scar isn't as sore but could feel a bit of swelling on the top and had a little feel around - I could feel the implant, it was a bit further up than I thought it would be but in a different place than I originally thought it would be (hope that makes sense!)

I keep touching it, but think I am making it a little bit sore so going to try and avoid doing it, the inside of my ear still feels like I have a needle stuck in it....countdown has started till the 7th March when the wadding can be taken out - I've been told it's a very very long piece of cotton/material so we'll see.....

My balance isn't still any better, I can't bend down without trying not to fall over, very frustrating for me when I am used to doing everything myself....

Hope I sleep better tonight!

Day 2 and going home

I was eager to go home and asked when I was going to see my surgeon or the doctor and also by then was desperate to get out of those damned surgical stockings, nurses told me to keep them on to minimise risk of blood clots!

I walked around the ward a bit, had a wash so felt a bit fresher, still off balance and light headed but determined that I could do it and to prove to nurses that I don't need the stockings and was allowed to take them off - ahhhh bliss!!!!!

My surgeon came round and said that he was pleased with the x-ray that was taken on the Friday evening and it's all in place and asked if I was happy with everything and to keep the wound dry and no hair washing for 12 days!!! 12Days????? Nooooooo - I had known but wanted to make sure, don't think I would last 12 days without washing my hair!! Could I????

Texted hubby that I am allowed home and to pick me up after 1pm, a friend texted if she could visit, haven't seen her since leaving Mary Hare which was about 18years ago and only lives down the road from the hospital so we had a nice two hours chat, she had been through the implant procedure before herself and it was nice to be able to ask questions and compare what I was going through to what she went through 4 years previously....my husband came and met, stayed and chatted to Charlotte for about half an hour and decided that it would be best if I made a move, get my stuff, medicines, discharge papers and get my ass out of the hospital.

Said goodbye to Charlotte, Lee and I made our way back to the ward I was staying in, gasp, my bed was being re-made and my stuff put in bags, nurse said that they needed the bed LOL - oops, I had been downstairs for too long. Got my bags, changed my clothes, got my discharge papers and medicines and said bye - I was gone....

Walking out to the front entrance of the hospital felt surreal, weird, I had been cooped in for two days without fresh air and it was nice to have that air and sunshine on my face but didn't help my wooziness so held onto Lee walking back to the car afraid that I would fall over.

The journey home wasn't so bad, talked while Lee drove, upon getting back home, I was greeted by two of my kids, but had to say, wait give me some space - I have 6 children and they ALL wanted to give me a cuddle and show me what they had done to welcome me back home. My grandparents had arrived at that point of me just walking up the stairs so it was all a bit argh...I slowly made my way to the living room to sit down and take it all in and regain my composure.

The kids had made me a few cards, Lewis and Zara made something out of LEGO saying 'Welcome home mummy love' and something I couldn't make nor head or tail of!! But it was sweet of them, a bunch of flowers sat on my dining table and a box of black magic next to it which was from Lee..my grandparents didn't stay long, I grabbed a nap shortly after they left as I was already at that point shattered but couldn't get comfortable as when I slept on my left side, I could feel the pressure from my right ear which isn't a nice feeling and also feeling like I have a needle stuck in my ear drum (can only guess it's the sensation from the wadding I have in my ear) and hurts every now and then, can't sleep on my right side due to the surgery on that ear but managed to get some sleep!

Lee woke me up at 6pm saying tea was ready, when we all had eaten, he produced a massive chocolate gateaux and said welcome home ....I just melted!

Going to bed that evening was definitely a challenge, could not get that comfortable as I had done earlier, propped myself up with 3 pillows - yes, three - and sort of managed to lie half on my back and half on my left side and slept all through the night.

Day 1

A doctor came round to see me and said that the bandages were coming off - yippee! By that point, they had lost my notes and were a bit unsure what they were meant to be doing and said they would be back in ten mins....tick tock tick tock

Half an hour later, they came back and proceeded to take bandages off...my headache lifted and felt fantastic, copped a feel of my ear...gasp, I can't feel it!! It was numb from the top of my ear to about 3/4 way down, could feel my lobe though, couldn't wait for the doctor to go so I could pay a visit to the toilet and take a look at the mirror, they waffled on about dressing and said that I could go home today...I simply wasn't ready and I would much rather go home tomorrow, they were happy with it and left.

As soon as they had gone, I got up and got out of bed, I felt sooo light headed and weird and wobbled to the toilets, locked myself in a cubicle where they had a mirror and had a look - argh, they shaved my hair!! Tried to take some photos and managed a good picture, typically of me - I posted it on facebook :-)



I also tried to feel about for the implant but because it was a bit swollen, I thought I would wait till it goes down, it was swollen on my head where my ear joins around the area where they had cut. The inside of my ear started to itch, I had wadding inside my ear to prevent infection and was told to leave it in until my post op which is on the 7th March - great!! I wanted to take the damn thing out and give my ear a good scratch with my little finger but just had to be patient and sort of scratch it by rubbing the outside of my ear which helped slightly.

The food I had was no better that day as half my tongue was still numbish and metallicy tasting but hey, at least I was still getting fed.

I felt better by evening and was bored, couldn't wait to go home and some of my friends who texted me that evening kept me company and sane - many thanks to Jo, Helen and of course my darling husband and some facebook friends who chatted as well xx as the television at the hospital was at extortionate prices!!

The day of the Operation

I managed to get the kids sorted, my eldest was staying with my grandparents who lived up the road so my grandad could take her into school, arranged it with my mum to come round my house at 6am to stay with the kids and get them out of the house to school which was just across the road, then took my two youngest back to her house - poor mum and have to say huge thanks to her for her help!

Left the house at 6.15 to make my journey to Southampton General Hospital as had to be there for 7am, I was excited, but as soon as we neared Southampton General, I had butterflies in my stomach and knew it was too late to back out, it was all happening!! I was grateful for the huge chinese I had the night before as had to be nil by mouth from midnight!!

As a facebook addict, I checked in on facebook that I was at Southampton General, I didn't expect so many well wishers, am so grateful for my many friends for their support and it was them who helped me through it.

I was greeted by a nice nurse on ward E5 and filled in forms, gave me a lovely hospital gown to wear and to strip all my clothes including my bra and knickers - I left my knickers on because I wanted a bit of dignity left!! Had to take all my jewellery off (including my wedding ring and hubby teased me that we were now 'divorced'), got given some of the lovely surgical stockings I had to wear and it was soooo long, from toe to thigh!! Damned thing kept rolling down!!



We were now ready, kissed my husband goodbye and made my way with one of the surgical nurses to F floor where the theatre was, holding on my stockings...when I got to F floor, they asked me to lie on one of their beds, a man came up to me and introduced himself to me as Robert and explained he was one of the anaesthetic and would be staying with me throughout the operation.

I was wheeled along down a corridor, stopped by a recovery room and Robert explained that I would be there to wake up after my operation, saw loads of beds there, I was wheeled next door to the recovery room which was the theatre, a small room adjoined by another door where the surgery was going to be, the small room had drawers of hospital stuff, I was prodded and poked and had a venflon put in, felt a bit sick and light headed, one of the dr's said it's the anaesthetic working, I said oh, put a mask over me, I just breathed normally and she said breathe deeper, took one deep breath and I was out......

I woke up by an indian nurse slapping my face and he said its all over now, groggily I said what, he said you've had the implant done and all was ok, I was more interested in going back to sleep and kept getting lightly slapped in the face to wake up!! Was told that I would be taken to the ward shortly where I guessed my darling husband would be waiting for me.....

Saw my husband walking outside the door as I was being wheeled in, was happy to see him...groggy but asked him to take a photo of me - thumbs up as it was all done and typically of me - I posted it on facebook, will upload it on here when I get the time...

I got offered a sandwich, a cheese and tomato sandwich in which, because I was hungry, I just didn't enjoy it, half my tongue was numb and tasteless so couldn't taste it much. I told my husband to go home soon after I ate as I just wanted to sleep so he left about 4pm and by then I had ordered my dinner...fell asleep, woke up about 6.30 wondering where my dinner was, asked one of the nurses about 7ish, confusion there, one of the staff said kitchen's closed now and said I could have a sandwich!! I already had a sandwich but wanted a hot meal, another nurse overheard and said that I am to have a hot dinner, the choices left were Lasagne or Chicken Tikka...opted for the Lasagne which I normally like and wished I had the other option...at least it was food - ate at 8pm!!

My head was swathed with bandages and was very tight, my right side was bulbous as loads of wadding was applied to where the surgery was done and had a headache which I think because of the bandaging, was told that the bandages come off tomorrow and is to stay on for 24hours!! Ugh! By then my right ear was aching as if it was folded up and pushed together in one place (it probably was) and I had this terrible urge to put my finger up the bandages and scratch but I just couldn't!!!!



I was taken to have my head x-rayed about 9ish and saw the coil in my head and was fascinated by it, but didn't expect it to be like that, the x-rayer said that he is no expert but thinks that it's in the cochlear and best for the doctor to see it himself which worried me a little bit, I asked to see a doctor and was told to wait till morning :-(

The only thing I didn't appreciate was being woken up at ungodly times of 2.30am and 5.30am to have my blood pressure taken, temp taken and pulse taken but they said it was compulsory!

The Final Step

Here it is, the date for my pre-op was decided - 24th February, I had an email from Sarah Paganga to say that there was a slot available and would I want to take it, my answer was YES, of course, I only had 3 weeks to prepare and the meningitis injection I was previously given was the wrong one, they needed me to have the pneumoccoccal injection in order for the operation to go ahead, I had to quickly book one, my feelings were mixed, elated, excited, nervous as it was a big step and a major thing to actually happen in my life (apart from getting married and having the kids)

I recieved a letter with a pre-op date and the date of the operation in black and white, I was giddy with excitement, the pre-op was on the 22nd to do a video assessment and also to meet the surgeon again to sign forms and discuss any other concerns or questions I may have.

The video assessment was quite weird to be honest, it was to compare how I would sound in a year's time, upon videoing me, she asked me to read a passage, asked me a few questions such as - how many feet does an elephant have, my date of birth, where I lived, my full name etc, as well as counting to ten from being the quietest on one and increasing my voice up to ten, when I had to shout TEN in an empty room with Sarah videoing me - I felt a bit daft!!! I can only guess I'll laugh about it when I see it again or die of embarrassment LOL

That was the video assessment done, I went into the waiting room to wait for Mr Hellier, I met a lady in the waiting room who was implanted two weeks previously, I took the opportunity to ask her some questions about how she felt before the op, after the op and now, she said she woke up and thought she was dreaming and couldn't believe it was over and felt fantastic after, she looked good two weeks post op and was walking and talking normally which gave me hope.....

Mr Hellier called me in and asked me the usual questions whether if I was ill, taking medications which I said no to all, signed some forms which is procedure for before the operation like that I am allowing them to treat me if in any event I was to take ill or need a transfusion etc. Asked me which ear I wanted implanted and explained he would be drawing an arrow on my neck prior to surgery to make sure no mistakes are made, shook my hands and said I'll see you on friday with a grin.

Walked out of SOECIC all excited and full of hope!!

My first few months

I went to see my doctor back in May, asked if I could be referred to have a cochlear implant and she asked me a few questions and would make some calls for me then a letter would be sent to me, I recieved a letter on 17th May to see Dr Blanshard at the North Hampshire Hospital in Basingstoke on 6th July.

He asked me a few questions about my medical history and why I was deaf, had a look at my ears, asked me why I wanted to be considered for a cochlear implant - my reply was that I would like to achieve my dream of being a midwife and also to be able to communicate better with my six children whom are all hearing....he was happy with that and said that he would refer me to the cochlear implant centre.

Heard nothing for a while and had begun to give up hope until I went away for our annual family holiday and that year we went to Wales (cut short because our tent was flooded due to the torrential rain!! Our dear friends who camped with us - bless them - had sewn in groundsheets with their tent offered us to stay that night and we would dry everything up, pack up and go home), upon coming home, I was greeted with a big pile of letters, one struck me as obvious with the big brown envelope (brown envelopes are always important letters!) - it was from the Cochlear Implant Centre, I opened it up quickly and said that dates would be in September, October, November and December and final dates would be to followed.

A big smile was on my face...here it was, it's begun and week later I got final letter with dates - September 19th was my first appointment at SOECIC (South Of England Cochlear Implant Centre) at Southampton University.

Other dates I had to go back were October, November for my MRI and CT scan, December and a final appointment in January (I think - just need to find letters to confirm dates)

Appointments consisted of having audiograms - twice, meeting people, assessments and stuff like that, think I had a total of about 10 visits to SOECIC. Several emails and appointments to the doctor for the meningitis (which was the wrong injection in the first place!!) and a pneumoccoccal injection (which was meant to be done first time round) I'll explain why for the need of the injections when I find the proper papers - I do know that it's needed to prevent infection of the ear as it's cut open, something to do with the fluid...